20 October, 2014

Survival Relationships

Survival Relationships

When the people involved in the relationship realize that they cannot survive in it on their own, then the relationship becomes a survival relationship. The choice of partner is out of emotions and there is no match in personalities of the two. It involves both a physical and emotional relationship and the fulfilling of the basic requirements of a married life. These people are unlikely to share common interests and qualities because of which there is not much that holds together this relationship. Each person tries to provide the other person which the things he or she does not have which makes the relationship a desperate, clinging one. Sometimes the relation can also become hostile and abusive. In these relationships, the partners often abuse each other physically. The people involved become overwhelmed at any sign of affection and caring because of which they are not sure how to receive it. The partners are desperate to just have the other person around them even if they have to fight.

 However, this kind of connection gives a much better feeling than being institutionalized. Because both the partners are scared to be alone, they desperately try to find a replacement the moment they get out of one relationship. This relationship turns out to be a co dependent one.

Pastime Relationships

Pastime Relationships

The pastime relationships are generally meant for fun and recreation. There are hardly any expectations although some people allow themselves to attach hope with these relationships. Summer romance is a good example of this kind of relationship. The pastime relationship is not a long term relationship and the circumstances create an even low probability of the relationship being an enduring one. Only expectations with this relationship are those of passion, tenderness and delight.

02 October, 2014

Avoidance Relationships

Avoidance Relationships


 In avoidance relationships, the people involved try to protect themselves from falling in deep intimate relationships with the other person and do not want to share their entire feelings with them. This relationship also includes those people who have just come out of a relationship and have not gotten over the painful feelings of failure and loss of splitting. The people whose life is overshadowed with traumatic events like death of a near relative, partner or a close friend are also a part of the group of people belonging to this category. They fear that if they get very close to the new person, the painful experience will surface again. The people specially choose those partners with whom they do not have to share the deeper feelings and emotions which they want to avoid.

 Another important feature of this relationship is that the partner may be someone who does not fit into the person’s remaining life. The partner will not have the same importance and compassion as the previous partner did. In such cases, more emphasis may be given to sex as a means of controlling the painful emotions. The beginnings and endings of these relationships are often immediate. There is a low chance of self disclosure and a high amount of mistrust.

21 September, 2014

Experimental Relationships


Experimental Relationships

  These relationships are just for trying out. In this relationship, a person who chooses his partners emotionally is made to choose partners who are extremely different than what he prefers. The motive of these experimental relationships is to find out the ways in which another person can be related to this person and what the relationship will become if this happens. These kinds of relationships help us in discovering new ways of interacting with each other, in ways we thought were not possible for us. It also helps in discovering those parts of one’s personality that are unknown to him and then nurturing them in order to develop them and grow. These relationships can be compared to dating which possess the quality of exploration and experimentation. The people involved in this relationship have an uncanny knack of striking a connection which clicks for the both of them and may even evolve further into a more dominant one. This type of relationship usually influences the choices of the person which help him in founding a suitable partner in the next relationship.

16 September, 2014

Transitional Relationships

Transitional Relationships


 In the transitional relationships, there is a cross between the new and the old, between the patterns that people were trying to change. This helps them in handling old conflicts and issues in a better way without causing any harm to the older relationship. The people involved in this relationship can also try to find out improved ways of relating to each other and developing their characters. It is a good way of practicing for a long term relationship which is much healthier than the older one, and can sometimes even evolve into a new relationship.

 In case one of the members in the relationship gets deeply attached to the patterns of the older relationship or falls back into the same habits which led to the failure of the previous relationship, then the transitional relationship faces problems. Sometimes it even turns out to be like the relationship which led to this new relationship. This is called a transference relationship which is described later on. When the people involved in the transitional relationship have achieved their aims and worked out their problems, they can end it in a more efficient and caring manner.

10 September, 2014

Healing Relationships

Healing Relationships

 These relationships depict a period of stress, mourning, loss and struggle. The people in this relationship tend to feel fearful, dejected and wounded from inside. They do not have to be present at the same time and the same place for their mutual growth and development and quite rightly, they are not. They badly long for love and care from their partners and at the same time, they should retrospect their relation and assess themselves. These people are generally completely mismatched and do not share much in common. Their lack of fit includes their age difference which can be up to twenty years as well. These differences also involve the intelligence levels like I.Q., where a brilliant surgeon paired up with a ski instructor who is not very intelligent. The differences can also involve sexual behaviors and experiences or traumatic events in one’s past etc.

  In these kinds of relationships, physical and emotional distance from each other can prove to a healing remedy. A person who gets divorced after fifteen years of marriage marries a person whose spouse had died prematurely. At that particular time, these two people needed each other very badly and wanted to be together, opposed to the contradicting views of their family and friends. Both these people got along well because they needed to be away from their traumas and also wanted each other’s comfort. Couples in the healing relationships want to talk about their previous experiences and about the difficult times they had to face along with struggles and losses. They try to repeat these events and relive the different levels when they try to understand each other and develop a sense of compassion. Instead of passion, support, kindness and gentleness are the healing weapons in this relationship. People involved in this relationship go for plenty of trips for recreation purposes and indulge with each other. It can be said that these relationships are more play oriented rather than being work oriented. Even if this relationship comes to an abrupt end, the ending is not painful and traumatic but supportive. It is possible for people to have two or even three healing relationships at the same time. In this case, one person is going through a healing stage where as the other is going through a transitioning stage.